Emptiness,nothingness,void. Different words but with similar meanings. I guess these are the best words to describe my life at the moment. I dont know what im doing with my life. For the past few weeks, i feel like i've no purpose in life. Everyday i wake up, and i feel nothing,empty,hollow. Its just that my days have no purpose anymore. This is why im desperately trying to rediscover and infuse meaning into my days,my life. Tried looking for jobs as employment would give my life some sort of structure , but still to no avail. Just my luck i guess. Most of my friends are already serving ns, and the remaining friends that i do have, have their own schedules and plans. Guess i can't utilise hanging out with friends to fill up my days. Figures.
Most of all, i feel insignificant. Like my existence has no impact on the life of others. I know it sounds damn emo but that's a pretty apt description of my life at the moment. My self esteem took a huge hit and i'm constantly doubting my self worth. Guess im just not good enough. Fucked up. That's another good phrase to concisely describe me right now. Enough of my emo shit. Sorry for this guys. Just using blogging as an outlet to pour out my thoughts and feelings. I'm okay. Isn't that what you say when someone close to you has died and people come up to you and deliver their condolences?
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