Darkness surrounds me

Love Is A Verb

2009-09-28T22:55:00.003+08:00

"Human nature often compels us to look at others in our lives and cry " But you don't care! I can only love you if you love me!"

Our human nature tends to withhold and wait to give until we've reaped the benefits of our emotional time and trouble.

But how contrary human nature is to true love! When we long for someone to change, sometimes the best step to take is the first step-acting not on the way things are but on the way we wish a relationship to be.
Choosing to have faith in a relationship is always a risk. But more often than not, when we're willing to take the first step, changes happen- in us and in those we long to be close to"

-Adapted from "Love is a Verb" by Dr. Gary Chapman

Come With Me My Friends

2009-08-23T00:05:00.006+08:00

Lately, I've been immersing myself in the realm of self-improvement in a whole lot of areas such as relationships, body language, dating, people-relations, psychology... just to name a few. Everyone close to me knows that I love books and initially I was into fiction but then i realized that i felt very unfulfilled as I desperately yearned to come across a book which could actually leave a delible impact on my life and I did not attain that with fiction. It was only till I started reading self-improvement books did i stumble upon what I so desperately craved.

After reading various books on different aspects of self-improvement, I managed to obtain a great deal of vital knowledge which transformed my way of thinking and mannerisms. It revolutionized my way of life as well in more ways than one. This got me thinking. If I could benefit such a great deal from this wealth of knowledge, so could hordes of people if they had the opportunity to obtain it, learn it and integrate it into their way of life. With the aid of my cousin, Saiful Rizal, who is a success coach, I made a decision to share these various troves of knowledge through my own website, which will be set up later in the year. In the meantime, i'll be posting info-bites on my blog in upcoming posts.

Be prepared to go on an amazing journey of self-metamorphosis my friends. I assure you that these valuable knowledge will help revolutionize your relationships and ultimately lead you to be the person you've always envisioned yourself to be.

Till next time my friends...

Revelations

2009-08-19T23:04:00.002+08:00

Watched District 9 today with my cuz. Movie was alrite i guess if you keep an open mind. Seemed pretty crappy at the start but it got better towards the end. haha.

Today was life-changing. I realised that i had no purpose in life at the moment. I'm like a ghost, wandering aimlessly down the streets. I told all of this to my cousin just now, about how i want to have a purpose in my life right now but i don't know what it is and how to work towards it. He sat me down and asked me a series of questions and gathered valuable information from me. Through the info that he got from me, he helped me draw up a plan for my life at the moment. A plan which could potentially change my life. I feel amazing. I feel thankful. Most of all, I feel empowered.

There are few moments where people can point to and say, " That's when it happened. That's when my life changed". This is that moment.

-Nil-

2009-08-18T23:40:00.001+08:00

Hope is the one thing a man in my position should not have. Why did you give it to me?

Comedies are remedies to life's tragedies

2009-08-04T01:11:00.004+08:00

OMFG! This is one of the funniest shows i've seen in a long time. hahaha. Practically laughed throughout the entire movie. Definitely worth a second watch. haha. Recommend all you peeps to catch it. Guaranteed to send you into peals of uncontrollable laughter. Oh yea, it's M18 i think. Nudity and language i think. haha. Pure unadulterated awesomeness.

Met up with hirman and zul just now for dinner. Was really good to catch up with those guys. My oldest friends. Charles joined us for dinner too coz i invited him. haha. He just sat there and laughed at our jokes. Haha. These are the people which make my life so much more bearable. My friends are really the most important people in my life. It gives me comfort to know that there are still people who i can depend on in times of need. Thanks so much guys.

People always leave...

Move Along

2009-07-30T00:15:00.002+08:00

Hello again. Nth much to blog about coz most of my time is spent working. The whole two days work-two days off deal is really great...if you have people to spend the off days with. It sucks to have off days during the weekdays coz most of my friends are in camp.

Life in station so far has been pretty awesome. The experience of saving lives is unrivaled by any other vocations. haha. Handled my first Road Traffic accident the other day. Female pillion rider was flung off onto the sidewalk after a collision with a taxi. Managed to convey her to the hospital swiftly and she should be alrite. Another life saved thanks to Civil Defence. hahaha.

As i have mentioned in one of my earlier posts, "Attraction is not a choice". It's that sense of gravitiation towards a person. Though orbiting around that person can leave one bruised and battered at times, one cannot fight it. However, right now, I am desperately fighting free myself from this turbulent ride but the escape hatch simply won't budge. There's only so much bruising a person can handle.

It's over. Move Along

Chris Daughtry's cover of Poker Face

Keep you much longer...

2009-07-17T18:10:00.004+08:00

Tried my hardest
Sorry if i hurt you in any way...

Akon-Keep you much longer

Lyrics | Akon lyrics - Keep You Much Longer lyrics

As long as i've got eyes, i'll have the sight for you
As long as i'm alive, baby i'd die for you

To be the better man...

2009-07-12T23:53:00.006+08:00

Wassssssssup! Hope all you guys have been awesome man. haha. Have free time to kill so decided to blog. lol.

Today marks my fourth day as a station medic. The hours are pretty grueling; 13-hour day shift(8am to 9pm) and 11-hour night shift(9pm to 8am). It really is an amazing experience and i finally know how busy the ambulance service is in singapore and how fucked up people can get. It seems that having a headache is considered an emergency these days. Despite this, i still feel that i've learnt alot so far. The feeling derived from saving people is truly one-of-a-kind. The best part is im working 2 days, and the next 2 days im off! woots! Only drawback is some of my weekends are burnt.

Im really glad that this job occupies most of my time. Leaves little time to ponder about my life. hahaha.

Repulsed at the thought of the numbness slowly fading away...

Wait for You- Elliot Yamin

Betrayal

2009-06-30T22:09:00.002+08:00

Friendship. It's one of the most important aspects of life. Having a group of people who understand you, are there for you and love you for who you are. The beauty of friendship is that it is a symbiotic relationship whereby two parties depend on each other for encouragement, understanding and unwavering loyalty. My friends mean the world to me. They are the most important people in my life, besides my family of coz. I've friends who i've known since secondary school and who i'm still close to up to this day.

I have a very great distinction between right and wrong and one of my strongest beliefs is that i would never go against my extremely good friends' wishes if i had a choice. Its amazing how people can change. You think you've known them for the most part of your life and you've got them figured out, and then, they turn around and do something you'd never have expected them to be capable of. Pretending to be there for you when in actual fact, they're just waiting for you to give up. Best friend indeed. Fuck you.

It's people like this that make me doubt the goodness in people. Made me realise that you can never truly know someone till they've shown you their true colours. But as my good friend Charles once told me, "Have faith Fazil".

Have faith.

Fuck this life

Change is coming

2009-06-25T22:42:00.006+08:00

Change. It's an inevitable aspect of life. Sometimes its for the better, and at times, its for the worse. The past month has been wrought with change for me. New phase of my NS life and also, a new phase of my life. It was depressing for the past few weeks till yesterday. Had a good chat and i guess i realized that as much as you want to be in someone else's life, it's up to the person to let you in. You can bang on the door as much as you want but it's still up to the person, whether to let you through. I'll be waiting outside that door, waiting for it to open again. But, in the meantime, i'll be going about my own life, taking an occasional peek through the window. One thing i learnt: sometimes, people do the most hurtful things to the ones they love, not coz they want to, but because they have to.

Linkin Park-New Divide

Lyrics | Linkin Park lyrics - New Divide lyrics

Dear God,

2009-06-21T22:13:00.002+08:00

Lyrics | Avenged Sevenfold lyrics - Dear God lyrics

Dear God, the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold her when I'm not around, when I'm much too far away

Surfacing

2009-06-14T01:02:00.005+08:00

Amacam! haha. Freaking long time man! haha. Been really damn lazy to blog since i enlisted coz i dont really have much to blog about besides ns life and im sure you guys aren't interested in that shit. Oh well, since i've mustered the will to blog, here goes.

As you all know, i got posted to CD and i went through the 7 weeks of Basic Rescue Training( BRT, not BMT). Struggled at first coz i didnt really train physically for my enlistment. haha. But as the weeks rolled by, i could see that i became fitter and i could cope with the hundreds of pumping the fucking instructors made us do everyday. haha. So then i POP-ed( without an actual parade. CD damn fucking budget. ) and got posted to MEDIC. Kind of expected that coz im from JC. So yeap, i', going through the 6-week course now. Finally gotten over my fear of needles coz we get injected every friday and also coz we had to do IV on each other. Got to feel how warm blood is when it flowed all over my arm. haha. 3 weeks to go then i'll be posted to fire station, hopefully one near my house, and attached to ambulance. that means i'll be attending to road traffic accidents, suicide cases and all that shit. Gonna be pretty traumatising. Lol.

The best part about being a medic is that im on office hours throughout the duration of the course! the downside is that i have to report at 730am each day so that means i have to wake up at like 5 everyday. haha. However, once i get posted out, i'll be working two days, then two days off, and so on and so forth. Good life.

On the university aspect, i got accepted into NUS. What a relief. But i'm gonna try applying for schaolarships next year coz i really wanna go overseas. Get some perspective and of coz, have a ball of a time overseas. haha. If i dont get it, i'll still have NUS to fall back on. Cross your fingers aite? lol.

That's it for now guys. Take care of yourselves. Love you all. Peace.

Lifehouse-Blind

Lyrics | Lifehouse lyrics - Blind lyrics

Beautiful

2009-04-02T23:54:00.004+08:00

Wassup to all you peeps out there!! Been a fucking long time man! hahahaha. Oh well, the hiatus was largely due to my own laziness. Yea so updates! =)

A level Results
Was fucking shocked when i got called in the morning. Last thing i expected. Still dont know how the fuck i did it. Anyways, hope all you peeps get into the universities and courses that you want! =)

Work
Yeap, i finally managed to find a job working at the airport as i have mentioned before. This time in charge of a game booth where passengers stand a chance to win cash vouchers. It was really interesting coz i got to meet loads of people and of coz, hot chicks! ( of different nationalities *wink*) Also had the opportunity to work the midnight shift which starts from 11pm to 730am. Wtf? yeap, tell me about it. haha. Faiz and Zul came to accompany me on one of those shifts. I suggested it jokingly to them but didnt really think that they'd actually come. haha. Great friends man. Oh ya, meifong, chuan yue and charles also came to the airport on one of my midnight shifts. They had just finished clubbing so they were pretty exhausted. hahahaha. Anyways, my last day of work was last tue so i'm officially unemployed again. Still waiting to collect my pay of 600 bucks for 12 days work. Quite good actually. hahaha.

Chill-ing
Have been playing soccer regularly for the past few months and it was really damn fun lah. hahaha. The problem is i dont seem to be getting any slimmer, worse, im actually getting fatter! i'm sure several people can vouch for this. hahahaha. Caught several movies too. Watched Push with meifong, The Watchmen with zul and poon and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button with meifong and reza. Watchmen was freaking draggy and we watched the 930pm show so it ended at like 12 plus. The only scenes that i liked were of Rorshach( that's how it's spelt i think) who's freaking cool lah. hahahaha.
Spent many afternoons over at Zul's house playing Fifa and Guitar Hero World Tour. haha. Awesomeness.

Shows to Watch
For all of you people who have not watched How I Met Your Mother, crawl out from under your fucking rocks and go watch it! Its reallly funny and i haven't laughed this hard consistently since i started watching Friends. So for all you peeps who loved Friends, catch How I Met Your mother. Just go to Sidereel.com and watch to your heart's content. It is going to be legend... wait for it... DARRYYY!

DoomsDay
Yes, the day is drawing ever closer. I'm going to fucking enlist this fucking TUESDAY. I have never, and i mean never, cut botak in my life so i dont know how the fuck i'm going to look like botak. hahaha. Confirm look like fuck. Oh well, at least I'll know one guy in Civil Defence who's enlisting on the same day and that person is Zul! What are the odds bro? If we all platoon mates, power pack lah. hahaha. Haven't done any physical prep for my enlistment so i think im going to get my ass whooped in there. Hope i dont come out a smoker or worse, a MAT( yeap that's how its spelt you chinese peeps. It's not spelt MUD) Most of friends have changed after going in so i know i will too. Just hope its for the better.
Oh ya, and i'll have to switch back to my old phone coz i dont want to risk my iPhone getting stolen my some mat( yes i'm talking about you zul). Haha. Thank god CD allows camera phones. lol. The week that i'm enlisting is Good Friday week so i'll only be in camp for 3 days! hahaha.

That's all peeps. This is, i think, going to be my last post before i enlist coz i dont think i'll be able to muster the patience to blog. haha. Hope all you peeps will stay healthy, be happy and achieve what you want in life. Peace out homies.

Lady Gaga- Poker Face

Akon-Beautiful

Attraction

2009-03-01T00:43:00.005+08:00

So, havent been updating as regularly as i would have hoped coz of my laziness. haha. Anyways, played soccer at temasek poly in the morning with hirman and a couple of my other friends. Felt good to sweat it out but it was also freaking hot! haha. Have been playing soccer quite regularly this past few weeks coz i have the free time on my hands. lol. Anyone who wants to play can always contact me. Im free most, if not all, of the time.

Went to the skin centre last thursday with my dad. He said that my acne problem is getting worse so he decided to take action. The medicine, creams and facial wash cost 70 bucks while the not-even-10-minutes consultation cost 80 bucks. Steep prices man. Hope my complexion gets better in the long run. hahaha. Oh yea, finally got myself a job. Working at the airport again from March 16th to April 1st. Finally got something to occupy my remaining days. lol.

Had dinner with faiz and poon just now at 201 area. Faiz was really damn bored that he asked us out. lol. It was really good to catch up and update each other on our lives. Faiz has a new girlfriend now. Good for you bro and best of luck =) I realised that my friends play a huge role in my life and without them, i would be in pretty bad shape. Im really glad that i have good friends who are there for me no matter what. Comforting to know that there's a safety net to catch me if i fall. Thanks guys. For everything.

Love. Everyone spends their life searching for their other half, their soul-mate, the one. They have certain pre-conceived notions of who that person is going to be. What most people do not realise is that love throws all these pre-conceived notions out the window. As David DeAngelo aptly puts it: Attraction is not a choice. You dont have a say in the matter. It's the unexplainable sense of gravitation towards an individual, a star. Though orbiting around that star can leave you bruised and battered at times, you are still drawn to it. I believe that though love can be painful and brutal at times, it is the one thing worth fighting for in life.

"Staring right back in the face
A memory can't be erased
I know, because I tried
Start to feel the emptiness
And everything I'm gonna miss
I know, that I can't hide

All this time is passing by
I think it's time to just move on

When you come back down
If you land on your feet
I hope you find a way to make it back to me
When you come around
I'll be there for you
Don't have to be alone with what you're going through

Start to breathe and fake a smile
It's all the same after a while
I know, that you are tired
Carrying the ones you lost
A picture frame with all the thoughts
I know, you hold inside

I hope that you can find your way back
To the place where you belong

When you come back down
If you land on your feet
I hope you find a way to make it back to me
When you come around
I'll be there for you
Don't have to be alone with what you're going through

You're coming back down
You say you feel lost can I help you find it
When you come around
From time to time we all are blinded
You're coming back down
You don't have to tell me what you're feeling
I know what you're going through
I won't be the one that lets go of you

I think it's time to just move on

When you come back down
If you land on your feet
I hope you find a way to make it back to me
When you come around
I'll be there for you
Don't have to be alone with what you're going through

When you come back down
If you land on your feet
I hope you find a way to make it back to me
When you come around
I'll be there for you
Don't have to be alone with what you're going through"

The way i love you...

2009-02-20T22:24:00.002+08:00

I'm blogging while waiting for my shows to load. lol. Just needed something to occupy myself while waiting and blogging seems like an immediate go-to. Anways, been watching some new shows lately coz my favourite shows are on a hiatus! Smallville, One tree hill, Gossip Girl are all on a break. And no, GG isn't a chick flick. So while waiting for their return in March, i started watching The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother. They're both freaking funny and awesome! All you peeps who haven't tuned in to these shows should do so immediately! They've been the reason why i stay awake till the wee hours of the night. lol. But seriously, go watch them.

Still having writer's block. Really frustrating. Wonder what will inspire me and break the dam which is suppressing my creativity.

Tamia-The way i Love you [ introduced by zul. Thanks bro =D ]

Your voice never fails to give me solace
Your laugh never fails to put a smile on my face
Your tears never fail to cause mine to surface
Your prescence is what holds me together

The thought of you not being in my life?
Utterly imaginable
As destiny would have it
The thought will soon become a reality

Life brings each of us down different paths
For some reason or another
Ours happened to cross
Fate? maybe

Though the time for our paths to diverge
Is drawing near
I'll still love you
Always and Forever

MAD

2009-02-19T00:25:00.003+08:00

Haven't been blogging for the past couple of days so i thought i'd just update tonight. Soo, i took meifong's brother out today coz she was busy working and couldn't afford to entertain him. Went to watch Valkyrie. Its a really good! It revolves around a plot to assasinate Hitler. Tom Cruise did a brilliant job in this movie too. Definitely recommend all you history and war buffs to go catch it =)
Watched American Idol just now and wow, this season is really the best so far. My favs so far are Anoop "Dog" Desai and Dani Goki. Both of them truly amazing singers and i foresee them going a long way in the competition.

On a more depressing note, i lost my inspiration! I just can't think of stories to write about at the moment and its really frustrating coz i know that i have it in me but i just cant seem to get it out! Anyone know the cure for writer's block?

Mad- Ne-Yo

If my life were a painting, you'd be the brilliant colours which made it beautiful

-Empty-

2009-02-13T23:38:00.003+08:00

Emptiness,nothingness,void. Different words but with similar meanings. I guess these are the best words to describe my life at the moment. I dont know what im doing with my life. For the past few weeks, i feel like i've no purpose in life. Everyday i wake up, and i feel nothing,empty,hollow. Its just that my days have no purpose anymore. This is why im desperately trying to rediscover and infuse meaning into my days,my life. Tried looking for jobs as employment would give my life some sort of structure , but still to no avail. Just my luck i guess. Most of my friends are already serving ns, and the remaining friends that i do have, have their own schedules and plans. Guess i can't utilise hanging out with friends to fill up my days. Figures.

Most of all, i feel insignificant. Like my existence has no impact on the life of others. I know it sounds damn emo but that's a pretty apt description of my life at the moment. My self esteem took a huge hit and i'm constantly doubting my self worth. Guess im just not good enough. Fucked up. That's another good phrase to concisely describe me right now. Enough of my emo shit. Sorry for this guys. Just using blogging as an outlet to pour out my thoughts and feelings. I'm okay. Isn't that what you say when someone close to you has died and people come up to you and deliver their condolences?

The Comet

2009-02-05T14:30:00.014+08:00

"Is that it? Is that it?" questioned the child excitedly. "No my dear, that's just a star" answered the father patiently. A few feet away, a man looked at the family and smiled to himself. The family was just one of the many who had gathered at the lake that night to witness the arrival of Halie's Comet, an occurrence once every few millennia. The man was alone, a solitary figure amongst the crowd., The velvety darkness of the sky was riddled with the sprinkling of stars. A good night for comet-gazing, the man thought. Leaning against a massive oak, he gazed silently at the sky and waited.

It was a few hours later when the child earlier, exclaimed excitedly once again, "Oh my god, daddy look! It's HUGE!" A wave of excitement and anticipation swept across the gathered crowd, as several other people started pointing and squealing. Everyone...except the man. He stood stolidly and stared. He could not take his eyes of the comet. It was massive, yet elegant. Beautiful, yet deadly. Its brilliance lit up the night sky, forcing the stars to cower behind it. The man paid no attention to the stars whatsoever. He had never seen anything so beautiful. He felt as if his whole life had led up to this moment, as if this was his destiny, his purpose. All of it had been for this. The arrival of this miracle. With elegant grace and powerful assurance, the comet danced its way across the sky. Then, it was gone. Just like that. As suddenly as it appeared, its disappearance was just as swift.

The man continued to stare into the heavens. The world seemed much darker without the brilliance of the comet, of the angel. His purpose, his destiny, had disappeared. What was the point of everything now? Everything seemed gloomier. The world seemed an inescapable abyss. Darkness surrounded him yet again, embracing him into its cold arms. It hurt, this aching feeling inside him. It hurt. He felt like a blind man, groping desperately for his crutch, his comet, his angel. The stars twinkled softly, quietly offering their help to illuminate this abyss in which he had fallen into, but he did not register them. His eyes were only searching for the brilliance which had lighted up his life but it was gone. Never coming back. He struggled hard to wrap his head around the fact that life had to go on, that life had more meaning than a comet, but to no avail. He knew, deep down to the very core of his soul, that that comet, that angel, was what he had lived the past few decades for. Now it was gone.

That thought kept reverberating in his mind, as if his subconscious was telling him to accept the fact and move on. How could he? He knew that nothing could compare to its sheer brilliance. He collapsed onto the ground, the moist grass caressing his face as he laid his head down onto the soft underbelly of this abyss, of this darkness. "Halie..." he thought, weeping silently into the earth. Halie...

Sing for the good times...

2009-01-29T23:15:00.006+08:00

Without you in my life, i just wouldn't be living at all...For every smile you make, a piece of my heart you take...
No matter what you do, i'll always love you...You are my first true love
Always and forever

Darkness surrounds me...yet again

2009-01-24T00:23:00.005+08:00

Hey peeps! sup sup! tmr im starting on a job! Its a temp job though and only lasts 4 days from the 24th to the 27th. The pay's pretty good. 50/day on the 24th and 25th and 100/day on the 26th and 27th. So im going to get 300 bucks for 4 days work! Woohoo! lol. Anyways, can't wait for the day of the release of the A level results to be announced so that i can adequately prepare myself mentally for the outcome. hahaha. The anticipation alone is killing me. As Steven Seagall once said: the anticipation of death is worse than death itself.

Anyways, was watching Dont forget the lyrics yesterday and the song With or without you was playing! OMG! i've been searching for the title of that song since i heard it being played on one of the episodes of Friends. Such a beautiful song...

With or Without You-U2

Without you in my life baby,
I just wouldn't be living at all

DanceVolution!

2009-01-17T23:22:00.002+08:00

Sup sup! How have you peeps been? hahaha. Was just surfing youtube watching dance videos. Im really amazed at some of the talent that singaporean dancers have! hahaha. For example,

Trademark, an NYP group

Flair Nation,

Revoc

This is only the tip of the iceberg people. I really really hope that all of you out there,who love to dance, do not give up on pursuing your passion guys coz as corny and cliche as this may sound, we are the future. Who knows? Singapore's dance scene may eventually escalate to this...

JABBAWOCKEEZ!!

Live your dreams people. Giving up on one's dream is to give up on one's self.
Peace

So so sorry...

2009-01-09T00:01:00.002+08:00

I screwed up, once again. I was forced to evaluate myself and i found out that i am indeed a screw-up. As the saying goes: Knowing is half the battle. There's still the matter of trying to redeem any amount of self worth that i may have and i gotta do it fast or else, well, or else i may eventually lose the most important thing in my life.

I'm sorry. Truly am. I know that it's too late to...

Apologise- One republic

But what i really want to...

Say( All i need) - One republic

is you. You are truly my...

Everything-Lifehouse

I love you. Hope i can be a better person in the future.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-04T01:18:00.003+08:00

Happy new year to all you peeps!! hahaha. Im back once again after a long hiatus. So lots have happened during this time that i have been away. I'll try to summarise it for you guys =)

18th Dec '08
My baby came back from Japan! hahaha. Was really happy to see her after 8 long long days!
We went to eat at Fish and Co. while she shared with me anecdotes from her stay in Japan. haha. She bought for me some souvenirs from Disneyland as well! Love you dear =)

22-27 Dec '08
I left for Kuala Lumpur with my family for a 6D5N vacation. Yes i know, its freaking long for a vacation in KL. Took a coach there which was a 5 hour journey. Basically we shopped during the whole trip, with visits to Genting and Colmar( some french-themed resort in Bt Tinggi)
Got myself a jacket ,which i've been wanting to buy for quite awhile and also bought a coupla jeans, books and some other stuff. As i said, a shopping trip. Caught Twilight there. The movie prices are really cheap there! 10RM only! Wth! Anyways, the movie was really disappointing for me as they cut out alot of nice scenes and added a coupla scenes which weren't even in the book. Damn, hope the subsequent movies will live up to the hype =/

31st Dec '08
Last day of the year! And i spent it with my baby =) Went to downtown east early to buy tickets to Yes Man. Then, went to toa payoh and took a bus to shermaine's house coz meifong was supposed to watch a movie with Wen Bin and Shermaine but Shermaine screwed up the timing...again. haha. So yeap, slacked at her house for awhile then left with meifong =) back to downtown east to catch Yes Man! Its a really nice show and really funny! Guaranteed to send you into peals of laughter. hahaha. Supposed to head down to the beach after that but meifong had plans with her gals so i accompanied her back to Yishun. So yeap, got to spend a segment of New Year's eve with meifong and that's good enough =)

Tracks featured in Twilight:

Decode-Paramore

Flightless Bird, American Mouth-Iron and Wine

Eyes On Fire-Blue Foundation

I Caught Myself-Paramore

Happy 6th month my dear
You've got nothing to fear
I love you
Always and forever

1 day to go!

2008-12-17T12:44:00.002+08:00

Yeap. Meifong'll be coming back tmr! hahaha. Finally.

Anyways, blogging really early today coz nothing much will happen later on in the day seeing that i'll be staying at home...again. Fuck man. lol. Just dont have anything to do. The other day went to Zul's house and he recommended me this song:

Neyo- Part of the List

Can't wait to see you again baby
Tomorrow! =)

Always and Forever

4 days to go...

2008-12-14T22:10:00.008+08:00

hello! day 4 of the WAIT is ending soon. Just four more days till meifong returns from her tokyo trip =) =) =) time seems to simply crawl by... Gotta have more fun so that it'll fly by. hahahaha.

Sooo, today was pretty much slack. Lazed around the whole afternoon, curled up with Breaking Dawn. Gotta say, the last book is really the best one of the series. Left about 200 pages and i'll be done with it. Its ironic how i can't wait to see how the story ends but at the same time, dreading the end of the saga. The Twilight Saga is the best series i've read since...well, Harry Potter of course. hahaha. Steph Meyers is the J.k Rowling of the vampire genre. I recommend all you peeps who haven't started reading this series to start reading it! it's worth your time. Trust me =)

Back to my day. Went to my grandpa's house as usual. seeing that it's sunday. And my baby cousin was there!!

He's really really freaking cute. hahaha. He can't walk yet so he crawls around but he can crawl freaking fast. hahaha. Love him and hey, who wouldn't? hahaha. I was using my cuz's lappie when gopin called me asking me to go online. hahaha. This time managed to chat with meifong =) =) for awhile before she sneaked out with jac jac and daphne( her dance instructor) God know's what kind of trouble daphne could get them into. hahahaha.

Sooo, yeap that's pretty much about it for my day. Highlight was getting to see my adorable baby cuz and of course, chatting with meifong =)

Wish you were here- Kate Voegele

Wish you were here
Love you baby
Always and Forever

5 days to go...

2008-12-13T22:51:00.002+08:00

This is my 70th post on this blog! hahaha. this blog would have had only 5 posts if meifong =) hadn't asked me, pestered me in fact, to start blogging again. So thanks so much =) =) =)
Hmm, so let me get back to recounting my day, for the benefit of meifong. haha

So woke up pretty late today. Close to noon. This was due to the fact that i had slept at 5 am the previous night coz' i was up reading Eclipse. I finished reading New Moon yesterday and Eclipse today. Lol lol. I was really on a reading frenzy. Hmm haven't started on the final book, Breaking Dawn yet but i'll start on it later tonight. hahaha. Can't wait to see how Steph Meyer wraps up the series. haha.

Later in the evening, met up with my sec school classmates for dinner. Couldn't decide on where to eat so ended up eating at Food Culture again( second time in 2 days =/ ) After that, due to lack of planning, we just roamed around Tamp Mall, hanging out at the arcade then went to StarBucks to see Faiz! We got 20% off our drinks coz we were friends with him! hahahaha. Oh oh, and the manager was this really really cute gal who, unfortunately, was 24. lol. But still, she was cute! ( Sorry meifong =/ ) lol. so yeap that was pretty much it for my day. Hope you're having much much more fun than me in tokyo! =)

Take care alright? Love you too much to stop worrying =/

this song made me think of you =)

Lifehouse-You and Me

5 days to go...
love you baby
Always and Forever

6 days to go...

2008-12-12T17:06:00.007+08:00

Sup sup! So as promised, i'm blogging earlier today for your benefit meifong =) haha. so today was pretty slack. Woke up at 11 plus and continued reading New Moon. Im almost done with the book already. Lol. As the first book, the build up was pretty slow but its really really good! Im at Zul's house now, blogging on his laptop. lol. Can't wait to get back home and finish it! oh ya, after friday prayers went to eat at food culture, not at KFC! proud of myself for being able to resist the temptation of BBQ Meltz. Mmmm....

Yeap, so that's pretty much it for the day, nothing much to talk about. hmm tmr will be going out with my sec sch peeps for some makan outing at tm. Hopefully, will be fun =) Miss hearing your voice dear. Looking forward to your email later in the evening. haha. Hope the second day in tokyo was much more fun than the first day!

Hmm im going off from his house now, will blog again tmr alright.

love you and take care
6 days to go...

7 days to go...

2008-12-12T01:47:00.003+08:00

Today was a brilliant day coz... I had a FREE LUNCH at SWENSENS!!! courtesy of joon kiat's dad. Thanks Mr Kiat. lol. Ordered the breaded chicken meniuere, or at least that's how i think its spelt. Just told the waitress that i wanted the breaded chicken instead of trying to pronounce the last word to spare myself any embarassment =) lol. Chuan Yue, Fai, Ow, Jeremy, Aaron and of course, Joon kiat, were there too to enjoy the free feast. Its free coz kiat's dad had a 120 dollar Swensen's voucher stashed in his drawer and kiat stealthily stole it and spent it on us! Woohoo! Thanks biatch!

Haha anyway, the occasion was Fai's farewell lunch coz our dear friend is booking in tmr afternoon at 1pm. Soooo, we makan ah! haha. After ordering our main courses, we realised that we still had 11 bucks left out of the 12o sooo we ordered EarthQuake! Cost 26 bucks so we each had to fork out 3 bucks. So in total my meal at swensens' cost 3 bucks! Now that's what i call value for money =)

After that since it was still early( it was around 4 plus), we caught the Day the Earth Stood Still. Hmm wouldn't recommend it to you peeps though. The movie has a nice build up but the ending really really and i mean really sucked. We agreed that we should have listened to Jeremy and watched Igor instead. lol lol.

Got a nice surprise when i came home and saw that my mom bought the 2nd,3rd and 4th book of the twilight saga!! Freaking happy! now i've got something to occupy myself with throughout the 8 days that meifong is away in tokyo. lol. Miss you loads =/ Promise to blog earlier tmr alright for your benefit =) =) take care of yourself and have loads of fun! =) =)

Love you baby, always and forever
counting the days to your return
7 days to go...

Always and Forever

2008-11-26T02:13:00.003+08:00

No no, im not here to post my latest draft on my 'book'. haha. Sadly, haven't made any progress since the last draft. Haven't really sat down to plan the whole thing. When i decided to undertake this task, had no idea of the level of planning that writing a book would entail. Really respect all the authors out there, especially J.K Rowling whose level of planning is truly phenomenal.

Anyway, decided that i have to look for a job today. Someone close to me said that i should take the initiative and go on a job-search, rather than rotting at home. That was what really compelled me to start searching. So if any of you peeps have any job info, please share with me.Your help is greatly appreciated =)

I love you, always and forever

A's Are Over!

2008-11-21T15:14:00.002+08:00

Heyy peeps! The A's are over! Woohoo! haha. Yeap freedom is finally here. Lol. Caught madagascar 2, quantum of solace and Body of lies. Caught body of lies yesterday with my sec school friends, Zul, Hirman, MeiZhen, Poonie and Faiz. The movie is really good and i recommend all of you guys to catch it. It's about the CIA, terrorism, Al-Qaeda and of course, American propaganda. Take everything you see with a pinch of salt. lol. I give it 4 popcorns out of 5. Hahahaha. Anyway, worked on a new draft for the prologue of my 'book'. Please read it and give me your honest opinion peeps. Honest feedback and criticism is greatly appreciated =)

She was there. With her willowy grace, she walked towards him. An angel ordained from heaven. His heart raced, beating a tattoo on the inside of his chest. Her smile was bewitching, tantalizing. He walked towards her and embraced her in his arms. He gazed into her amber brown eyes and knew that she was the one. He angled his head forward, anticipating the kiss…

The bus gave a sudden jolt, waking him out his reverie. He shook his head and grinned to himself. He should have known it was a dream. He pressed the bell, alighted from the bus and watched as the bus trundled off, its taillights fading into the darkness of the night.

He turned and made his way slowly down the street. It was a clear night and the velvety darkness of the sky was riddled with the sprinkling of stars, which seemed as if each one was determined to outshine the other. A gentle breeze tugged lightly at the hem of his soccer jersey, sweeping through his straight jet-black hair. His legs felt like two dead weights. Fatigue filled every muscle of his lanky frame. Coach Fordman had drilled him especially hard today. Dan could still see the disappointment etched clearly on his face and his cry of “You’re mentally weak!” reverberating in his ears. His team had lost the practice match today and it was partly his fault.

The chime signaling the arrival of the elevator jarred him from his thoughts. He shuffled in, pressed the button marked ‘11’ and slumped against the walls, preoccupied with his thoughts. The doors opened and he exited. The blaring sound of the television could faintly be heard as he approached his apartment.

The warm glow of the lights greeted him as he entered his home. “So how was the match, Dan? Did you…” his mom enquired and stopped mid-sentence as the look on Dan’s face clearly gave her the answer.” He made his way into his room and threw his bag in the corner. He took his towel and entered the bathroom. Dan let out a sigh of satisfaction as the warm water buffeted his face and body, the tension ebbing away from his sore muscles.

He toweled himself dry and put on a faded Metallica T-shirt and shorts. Thoughts of the interview the next day with the head of the planning committee of the Freshmen Orientation, which would commence in the coming month of January, filled his mind as he threw himself on his bed. Exhaustion tugged at his eyelids, lulling him to succumb to the blissful temptation. Tomorrow I’ll ace that interview, Dan thought, as he closed his eyes. Tomorrow my life will change.

Fate does have an uncanny way of proving one right.

Just some stuff

2008-11-15T02:16:00.006+08:00

Hey y'all! Im back once again, reawakened from the dead, and back in the blogging world. haha. hmm been thinking about writing a book after the As. Haven't exactly decided on the plot yet but here's like 3 paragraphs i came up with. Its really very sketchy and i came up with it in less than half an hour. Just give it a read and tell me what you think alright =)

She was there. With her willowy grace, she walked towards him. An angel ordained from heaven. His heart raced, beating a tattoo on the inside of his chest. Her smile was bewitching, tantalizing. He walked towards her and embraced her in his arms. He gazed into her amber brown eyes and knew that she was the one. He angled his head forward, anticipating the kiss…

The bus gave a sudden jolt and woke him out of his reverie. He shook his head and grinned to himself. He should have known it was a dream. He pressed the bell, alighted from the bus and made his way to school. Yishun Junior College. His alma mater. A year ago if someone had told him that he would be going to YJC, he would have laughed and nonchalantly brushed the possibility aside. Mediocre preliminary exam results and an L1R5 of 16 later, here he was, on the brink of his second and final year at YJC.

When he had first stepped into the school, he thought that his future was ruined. His dream at that point of time was to enter Meridian Junior College. That dream was brutally crushed by good old Fate. As time wore on, he made friends and soon realized that the people were really great there. They gave him a fresh perspective on his life at YJC. He joined the soccer team and found himself among brothers. The camaraderie of the “Soccer Boys”, as they were known, was unrivalled by any of the other Co-curricular Activities and soccer soon became the main reason why he looked forward to going to school. Fast forward to the present, final year, A levels.

Randomness, Nothingness

2008-11-10T00:01:00.002+08:00

Its the most important thing, love
finding the right person
Love finds you,
you don't find love
You dont have a choice

I will never understand the immensity and complexity of love

The End

2008-10-23T23:03:00.003+08:00

Hey peeps. This is going to be my last post on this blog till god knows when. For all you A level peeps, good luck and study hard. May your dreams come true ladies and gentlemen. May your dreams come true.

Lifehouse- Take Me Away

this time all I want is you
there is no one else
who can take your place
this time you burned me with your eyes
you see past all the lies
you take it all away
I've seen it all and it's never enough
it keeps leaving me needing you

take me away
take me away
I've got nothing left to say
just take me away

I try to make my way to you
but still I feel so lost
I don't know what else I can do
I've seen it all and it's never enough
it keeps leaving me needing you

take me away
take me awayI
've got nothing left to say
just take me away

don't give up on me yet
don't forget who I am
I know I'm not there yet
but don't let me stay here alone

this time all I want is you
there is no one else
who can take your place
I've seen it all and it's never enough
it keeps leaving me needing you

take me away
take me away
I've got nothing left to say
just take me away

Hope you'll forgive me someday

Sing For the Good times

2008-10-12T23:28:00.002+08:00

OneRepublic "Apologize" Cover Contest Winner

[stripped]One Republic - Apologize

Which version do you like better? I think the gal won coz she's really hot =) One Republic's vocalist is really good though. lol. They sound as good live as they are on CD.

Inspiration

2008-10-12T00:13:00.002+08:00

This is just a random post. Here are some videos that i came across while surfing YouTube which i thought were quite inspiring and moving too =) enjoy!

The Man Who Can't Be Moved

2008-10-10T22:14:00.003+08:00

Heya! sorry for the hiatus. Haven't had the time to blog these days. So, the main highlight of my hiatus was my birthday celebration! haha. Will upload the pics some other time due to my laziness at the moment. lol. Graduated last week =) now just spending the days studying. A levels about 3 weeks away. Suffering will end 18th November for all PCME peeps! so just tahan for awhile more and mug like hell! Good luck to all you peeps taking A levels. May God f-ing bless us =)

The Script- The Man Who Can't Be Moved

Stand By Me

2008-09-29T00:08:00.003+08:00

Its the end of the week once again. Tomorrow marks the start of our last week in YJC! Im filled with mixed emotions. As much as i relish the thought of leaving, i feel sad as many great memories were born in that place especially cos' that's where i met meifong =) Anyways, friday is graduation day. Im not really looking forward to it coz im going to get whacked and a whole lot of other stuff on that day as my birthday is on the sunday. Ah! Looks like i'll have to bring 2 or 3 sets of extra clothes =/

Was video-surfing on YouTube and came across this hilarious video! The three frogs really remind me of Jeremy, Bing Han and Wai Dek. Lol.

Stand by me

Will you stand by me baby?

Specially for you

2008-09-27T23:34:00.004+08:00

Meeting you was unexpected
Entertaining you is a pleasure
I really love everything about you
From your stunning smile to your beautiful eyes
Our journey has just begun
Nothing will ever change the way i feel about you
Girl you're truly the best thing in my life

I love you mei fong =)

Countdown

2008-09-26T23:47:00.003+08:00

A big hello to all you peeps! Really sorry for not updating this lonesome blog of mine on a regular basis. Won't be updating that much from here on out 'coz of the A levels. Im at a point in my life where im counting down to various events such as the A levels, Hari Raya( which is like 4 days away), Graduation and my Birthday =) I feel like i've lost the momentum which i had built up in the prep for prelims. Gotta get that engine started once again. Neways, i came late to school yesterday and ms ng gave me a letter of undertaking! omg im really pissed at her coz the letter states that i acknowledge that any further latecomings will result in an in-house suspension and i could be barred from taking the A levels. Whats worse is my parents have got to sign it! And they will confirm fucking overreact as they always do. Haiz. What am i to do?

Was really worried baby
when i couldn reach you
Once i heard your voice
Immense relief washed over me

It was then i realised
how important you are
i love you baby
for all the days of my life

Neyo-Miss Independent

Love

2008-09-22T23:50:00.004+08:00

Love is a fickle thing
Once fallen into
its hard to get out of
How very true indeed

Currently one of my fav songs =)
Cookie Jar- Gym Class heroes

I understand

Results, results and more results

2008-09-13T00:12:00.002+08:00

As the more perceptive of you lot might have guessed, this post would largely be about my prelims results. haha. So the latest update on my results from the worst to the so-called best:
Maths: 33, GP:52. Econs: 53, Chem: 55, Physics:61. Got back the results slip today and i was really shocked when Mdm Koh said that our CTs will be calling parents to inform them about our results. Looks like im doomed. The previous block test i got a C for GP and my parents gave me a hard time and said why cant i get an A when my language is supposedly good. God knows what their reactions will be when they see that i got an E for GP and thats also after moderation. In short, im screwed. Neways, played soccer just now! Always feels good to play soccer with the guys as it really de-stresses me very well. Haha. Then had dinner with the guys at Long John's just like old times. Met meifong =) after that for a while before leaving for home. Ending on a ligher note, check these videos out. Guaranteed to make you laugh. All hail the incredible Rowan Atkinson, better known as Mr. Bean.

Rowan Atkinson Amazing Jesus

Rowan Atkinson in Hell

Rowan Atkinson- Fatal Beatings

Love you baby and sorry for breaking the promise

For you my baby

2008-09-06T23:34:00.002+08:00

This post is dedicated to you baby. Happy belated second month =) love you so much and just want to tell you how very grateful i am to have you in my life. Wish to dedicate this song to you baby. love you =)

Shayne Ward-Breathless

You leave me breathless

Reminisce

2008-09-01T23:44:00.008+08:00

Today marks the start of the fasting month of Ramadhan. One month of pure abstinence. Since primary school till now, my non-muslim friends have always wondered how are we able to endure going through the whole day without eating or drinking. Well, its willpower i guess. Mind over matter. Besides its only 14 hours =) haha. I think the hardest part about fasting is abstaining from intimacy. lol. Anyways, after breaking fast just now, went down to the mac near my house area to study with my sec school fren, Zul. haha. We ended up talking more than we actually studied 'cause its been ages since we last had a good chat. Saw several of my sec sch mates too. It was really good catching up, felt just like the old days. Reminiscing about those days led me to upload this pic! haha.

Crazy bros of mine. except the first 2 guys from the left in the top row and the first guy in the bottom row. not that close to them. lol. just look at my beatles' hairstyle.Haha. Really had fun with them. They really made my secondary school years very enjoyable and bearable. Thanks guys! i know i know. Sentimental. lol. Reminiscing about secondary school led me to think about jc life as well. lol. Some pics as well: Lol. Ben and Dan tall for a day.

Me, andrew and ben at ice cube on the day of meifong's celebration. Look at andrew's shirt. "everybody loves an asian boy" lol

Lol. Just look at jeremy's expression. G**

Soccer guys! Bros Forever. p.s Look at botak Fai and Aznor ( at that time he still had 2 balls )

Reminisce reminisce reminisce.

JumpStyle

2008-08-31T23:44:00.002+08:00

So nothing much really happened today. Went to khatib round 2 30 to study with jeremy at buddy hoagies, which is at some cc [ forgot which =/ ]. Wanted to eat there but the price of the food was really ka-ching! so ended up just buying an iced tea which cost only $1.90. lol. budget budget. Then went to fetch meifong =) from work then went back to buddy hoagies to study. Poor meifong has a neck sprain and she couldnt turn her head properly. Hope it gets better dear =) Then after that sent meifong home then went back to tampines. Thats pretty much it for my day. haha. My bro introduced me to a new dance genre known as JumpStyle which was just created early this year i think. Its quite interesting. See for yourself:

Patrick Jumpen : Jumpstyle How-To Video tutorial

Patrick Jumpen - The Secret (Official jumpstyle music video

Quite cool. Its really much harder than it looks though. haha. Try it!

Holding you in my arms
makes all my troubles fade away
Seeing you smile
makes it all worthwhile

Things are back to normal. i love you so much baby

You're Beautiful the way you are

2008-08-30T22:38:00.005+08:00

I got this pic from joon kiat's blog. haha. Looking at this pic brought back memories where the only reason for going to school is the knowledge that there's soccer training after school. We really bonded well despite our different races, heights( no offence brian, desmond, basith and most of all, Andrew) and personalities. We became a family. Bickered at times, joked most of the time, suffered together and rejoiced together. I really miss those times. Joining soccer was the best thing that happened to me, before i met meifong of course =) Times have changed though. Gone are the days where soccer was predominant in our lives. Time simply flew by. Glad that we are still as close off the pitch as well as we are on it. Those times will stick with me for the rest of my life. The friendship, the brotherhood.

Things have changed

wish i could do something

to make that feeling go away

but i don't know how to baby

All i can say

is it'll be okay

i love you baby

more than words can ever portray

Because of you, my life has changed

2008-08-29T23:56:00.003+08:00

It was indeed a very enjoyable Teachers' Day today. Although the day started off quite drearily due to the 1 and 1/2 hours of lesson before the concery. haha. Really loved the skit put up by Jeremy's class and also Sudibyo's duet. Really damn nice! haha. They've got my vote for the youth jamming competition thingy. Fishy and the Apple Shampoo wasnt too bad either. Really love the song Your Guardian Angel. Its currently the song i have on repeat in my phone. haha. Anyways, didn't have a chance to go back to my secondary school, Pasir Ris Sec, due to time constraints. Second year in a row which i didnt go back. Really miss you 4e7 peeps! Hope that there'll be a class reunion after the A's =) Ended up watching Death Race again with Fai, Jeremy, Vinay, Fairoz, Basith and surprisingly, Ram. haha. We wanted to watch Kallang Roar but Ram didnt want so we ended up appeasing him. The rest of the guys all complained that it was a waste of money. haha. After that, sent meifong =) to ballet and met elvina( one of her close friends). Kinda awkward but well, its a start. haha. Oh well, so thats how i spent Teacher's Day.

The second song which Fishy and Apple Shampoo performed:
MayDay Parade- Three Cheers for Five years

I will always love you baby

Your Guardian Angel

2008-08-28T23:50:00.005+08:00

This is my 45th post! lol. That was just a random piece of info. haha. The prelims have officially ended! woohoo! It ended last tuesady. Planned to play soccer after the paper but there were too little people. lol. So we waited from 10 plus till 4 to play with the floorballers but thanks to the fantastic invention known as the Lightning Risk Alert, our plan was foiled yet again. Heavy downpours soon followed after. Best part was meifong and the gals had a wonderful sunny day at Sentosa. Lol. Well, at least one of us got to celebrate the end of prelims =) So instead of playing soccer, went to watch the teachers' day rehearsals instead. Sudibyo has the best voice among all the contestants so be sure to catch him in action tomorrow! haha. Jeremy's class is putting on a comedy skit for Darius "Fatty" Oh. haha. Jeremy, Bing Han and Wai Dek are seriously damn funny. Cant wait to watch the actual performance tomorrow. Another great performance is the one put up by the band known as "Fishy and Apple Shampoo". Their performance is much nicer than the name i assure you. Especially like their rendition of Your Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Thats why im dedicating this song to you baby =)

When I see your smile,
Tears roll down my face.I can't replace
.And now that I'm stronger, I have figured out,
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
.And I know I'll find deep inside me, I can be the one.

I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.
It's okay, It's okay, It's okay-ay-ay-ay-ay

Seasons are changing,
And waves are crashing,
And stars are falling all for us.
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter,
I can show you I'll be the one I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)
I'll stand up with you forever.

I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.
'Cause you're my, you're my, my-e-y-e-y,
My true love, my whole heart.

Please don't throw that away.
'Cause I'm here... for you!
Please don't walk away and,
Please tell me you'll stay... here! Whoa-oh! Stay! Whoa-oh!
Use me as you will! Pull my strings just for a thrill!
And I know I'll be okay,

Though my skies are turning grey! (grey! grey! )
I will never let you fall! I'll stand up with you forever!
I'll be there for you through it all, Even if saving you sends me to heaven!
I will never let you fall! I'll stand up with you forever!
I'll be there for you through it all,
Even if saving you sends me to heaven!

Simply Amazing, thats what you are

2008-08-22T22:47:00.003+08:00

The prelims have unofficially ended! Yest was physics paper 2 which is considered the last 'major' paper as the only papers left are chem and physics paper 1 which im only going to study just abit for. Played soccer yesterday for like 4 hours! It was really loads of fun. Really love the game. After that, me fai vinay kiat and andrew had dinner at long john's, just like old times. haha. There was a couple with a baby sitting at the table beside us and she kept staring at fai! lol. Fai was damn uncomfortable for some reason. He probably looks like some black teddy bear that the baby has at home i think. lol. That was how we rejoiced the unofficial end to the prelims. However, i know that ive screwed up this prelims. Sad part is i actually studied for it but i guess it just wasnt enough. This wednesday marks the beginning of the final school term where the final lap begins. Back to ASP, revision papers, parents' expectations, prelims' results and of course the ever-approaching A levels. damn damn damn.

Sucks just thinking about it right? oh well. lol. Today went out with my baby =) went to have lunch at tampines mall's seoul garden. Was freaking full after eating the chicken, beef, squid, crab balls, fish balls and lots more. I drank more than i ate i think. Meifong asked me next time just go there for the free flow of drinks. I swear she's become more sarcastic since she got to know me. lol. no offence dear =) lol. After that, watched Death Race. Quite a nice show with gore, fast cars, and hot chicks. What more can you ask for? lol. But seriously, the female lead was seriously smokin' hot! haha. Had a great time today =) tomorrow going to go school to play soccer in the morning, if i can wake up. lol. Then, probably try to get some studying done or else the guilty conscience kicks in. Thats pretty much it. Shall end this post with a coupla' of videos from the greatest dance crew of all time: The JabbaWockeez!

Resurrected

2008-08-16T00:14:00.002+08:00

Back from the dead. Haha. Been like so freakin freaking long since i last updated. Just caught up in the mugging for prelims...nah. Truth is, was just plain lazy to update. So today marks the end of the first week of the oh-so-glorious prelims. It started out in fine fashion with chem paper 3, which was do-able, then came GP which really sucked c***. The paper 1 was really dam f-ed up. Took 1/2 an hour to pick a damn question and had to finish the essay in 55 mins. The icing on the cake was today's maths paper 1 which i thought was seriously freaking difficult. If i can get above 20 it would be amazing already. Yeap, its that bad. Still 2 weeks to go before prelims are over but once it is, prep for the big 'A's will get underway. Haiz. And fasting month's like 2 weeks away! NOOOOO!

On a lighter note, the Olympics kicked off on the 8th of August with a spectacular Opening ceremony. History has been made as Phelps clinched his 6th gold medal of the games and 12th of his career, far surpassing any Olympian in history. Truly amazing. Caught the highlights of the 100m men's heats just now. Usain Bolt cruised effortlessly to the finish in 9.99 s and even had time to look to the crowd while running. Crazy bitches all of 'em but really amazing. That's all for now folks. Will try to update...soon. Tomorrow studying with my baby =) Good luck for the rest of the papers guys. Ciao!

Your eyes are engaging
two pools of endless beauty
Your smile is bewitching
rendering me senseless

The effect you have on me
is truly one of a kind
what i mean to say is
i'm so glad you're mine

The Dark Knight

2008-07-27T23:31:00.006+08:00

"It's either you die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain" wise words from Harvey "Two-Face" Dent. For those of you who know of this quote, you've caught the greatest movie of the year! The Dark Knight is truly the best movie ive seen in quite awhile what with all amazing fight scenes, the BatCycle, the sonar concept and the spectacular acting by Heath Ledger as The Joker. i caught the movie twice in the last week cause it is that bloody good. haha. Allowed myself this slight reprieve from mugging for the upcoming prelims which is 2 weeks away! Bloody brilliant isn't it? Surprisingly, i don't feel the heat at all! Maybe im so stressed that it has made me too numb to register that im stressed. Whatever that means. Neways, revision has been moving along at a painstakingly slow rate. Last friday, played soccer with the guys! played till 8pm and i couldn't even see fai in the darkness, let alone myself. haha but still it was damn fun. Jeremy was holed up in the library with my baby =) and eunice. His loss i guess. haha.

Ive also recently gotten hold of a book titled "City Of Ashes" by Cassandra Clare with the help of mel( thanks gal!) Its the 2nd book of a trilogy and its reali reali damn good! Thanks to mel once again who recommended this trilogy which has been a reali good read. Finished the book today and im dying to get hold of the final book! Let me know once the final book is out mel =) Also, would like to recommend the song Thunder by Boys like Girls to all you peeps who havent listened to it yet. Nice song with beautiful lyrics. Dedicate it to your loved ones ya =)

Your eyes are the brightest of all the colours
I dont wana love any other

Right here in my arms

2008-07-20T00:51:00.002+08:00

Seems like im updating on a weekly basis these coupla weeks. Just gonna get worse as prelims and A levels draw closer i guess. Neways, life's been pretty hectic this past week. The commencement of ASP begin last mon and i think its really stupid of the school to cut short the timetable at 12 plus -230 when theres still ASP in the afternoon. Defeats the purpose of the whole thing. And the teachers have been unrelenting in their barrage of assignments. Paper after paper have been dealt, with tight deadlines no less. Barely keeping up and have yet to formally start my revision for the oh-so-near prelims. 3 weeks away people, and counting.

On a brighter note, played soccer yest after god-knows how long! Forgot how fun it is, playing with friends, forgetting all about the pressure from parents and teachers to perform academically. Thats the beauty of the game. For that period of time, everything else is reduced to nothingness, except for the game. Skeptics have mentioned countless of times that its just a mindless game of 22 men chasing after a ball. Well, obviously these people have never played soccer before. Right now, only my friends, my baby =) =) and soccer can keep me going through this hectic and undoubtedly most important 4 months of my life.

I love you baby
and i will constantly say it
as i do not know,
when i may not be able to utter it again

You are the one good constant thing in my life

Viva La Musica

2008-07-12T00:49:00.005+08:00

I know i know, been like freaking ages since i last updated. Haha. Latest update on my block test results: 65% for physics, 60% for gp, 50.5% for chem( thanks for nothing ram!) and the best one of all, 26% for maths. Yet to get econs back but im sure it wont be that much better than my maths. 3 weeks to prelims, tonnes of revision to do, and i havent even started yet. Been swamped by all the practice papers that ive had to do lately, so much so that i havent had time to revise yet. Gotta complete hci maths paper 1, cjc paper for physics, chem practice paper and gp compre by next week. And the work load is just going to keep on increasing as the prelims and the A levels approach ever closer.

Went to Viva La Musica tonite at VCH, which is a concert by my sec( Pasir Ris Sec) school band. Went with my dear =) , and 2 of my sec sch friends. We came in late so we missed like the first 2 pieces that was performed but nevertheless, it was quite a good show. Ate dinner at Mac then went home. Came back close to midnight and surprisingly enough, my parents didnt make any noise. Really thankful for that. Neways, so thats the highlight of my hiatus from the blogging world. Happy revising folks! As Yoda would say: May the force be with you( damn, really starting to sound like Jeremy)

When i look into your eyes, the rest of the world stands still
i'll always take care of you baby

Dawn Of A New Day

2008-07-04T23:31:00.002+08:00

hey to all you peeps once again. Decided to update this blog of mine after realising that i havent been updating for like a week and 2 days. hahaha. So here i am, raised from the 'dead'. lol. Sooo, alot has happened in my hiatus. Ive gotten back my results for 2 subjects: chem and maths. Maths was a disaster, as expected. Only 16 people passed in the entire cohort. How brilliant. Scored a dismal 26 marks for maths. Chem was relatively much better, or so i thought. I had gotten 60.5. Key word: had. Today while going through the block test corrections in lecture, Ram asked me how the hell i cld have won him by 1 mark when he clearly trounced me in 2 of the sections. That made me recount the marks and lo and behold! My actual marks is 50.5! Way to knock me off the pedestal. Damn you Ram! Hahaha. Just kidding bro. Not your fault =)

Also, my eye has got some sort of infection which caused the upper eyelid of my left eye to swell up. It is really repulsive to look at i think and its really freaking irritating, Just feel like poking a freaking needle into it. But that would cause the whole thing to burst i think and that would be really painful. Hahaha. Pray that this infection-swelling-whatever its called- thing will fade away soon.

I'll never feel alone again
with you by my side
i give my heart
'cause nothing can compare in this world to you

Dreams do come true after all

Resolutions and more Resolutions

2008-06-25T23:28:00.002+08:00

Hey all. Sorry for the pretty long break between the last post and this one. Its just with the blocks and all, been pretty hectic these days. Tomorrow is the final paper!! Im so freaking happy. Whats even better is that theres soccer to look forward to after that! Woots! hahaha. Hope we will all have fun tomorrow and it will be a well-deserved break after the 'mugging' that we all did. haha. Maths tomorrow at 8am! Not used to it since the past 2 days have been afternoon papers and its gonna be 3 hrs. The A lvls there will be 2 papers and they are 3 hours each. That sure is something to look forward to.

Thoughts are in turmoil
academic pursuits unrelenting
Contemplation taking its toll
Character is man's weight in gold

Look into the mirror
what do i see
i see the devil
staring right back at me

Contemplate...

2008-06-20T22:58:00.002+08:00

Hey again. Sorry for the hiatus. Seems like i just cant seem to keep to my resolution to update more frequently. Note to self: don't make resolutions that you cant keep. Ok. So basically this past few days have been mostly revision for the block tests which is like only 2 freaking days away. Today i realised that i am really unprepared for it. Don't know how my parents would react if they knew. Disappointed i guess. Guess havent really been concentrating whilst revising due to the innumerable distractions which surround me. haha. Well, cant blame other factors except myself. Shouldering the responsibilty of my own shortcomings. haha.

Recently, i've been contemplating about life ( more than i usually do). It seems that most people cant attain their dreams. Its a fact that the probability of one attaining or fulfilling their actual dream is considerably low. We have to choose the next best thing. It may not exactly be initial dream that one had but its the next best alternative. Also, there will surely come a point in one's life where undesired feelings or thoughts are embedded in one's mind. What seperates the good from the bad is whether one actually acts on that impulse. Remember: Life's short, too short to live it as a bad person

Prolonged contemplation has resulted in indecisiveness

Heaven

2008-06-15T23:12:00.002+08:00

Hey again. Looks like i juz cant seem to update on a daily basis. Damn. Today is the end of the 3rd week of the hols. Time is really flying by. Still way way behind in my revison and parents are already pressuring me, expecting good results. To me, i think that parents impose on their children their dreams that they could not fulfill. In other words, they want to live vicariously through their children. They try to fashion little versions of themselves.Find it really frustrating at times. Neways, good luck to all you peeps for the coming block tests. Hope you guys will mug the last week of the hols away and do much better than the previous block test =) Personally, im aiming for all passes. Small realistic goals, as mr sara taught us soccer guys. Haha.

Seeing you smile
makes everything worthwhile

You're an angel
ordained from heaven
Simply amazing
Simply divine

Dreams do come true

2008-06-13T23:10:00.002+08:00

Hey to all you peeps. Really sorry for not updating for these coupla days. Looks like i broke my resolution to update on a daily basis, pretty quickly. haha. So this whole week ive been going back to school to do revision, yeap, revision. Had to complete 5 full papers by today given only a week to complete it. By full i mean, paper 2 &3. Only managed to complete 4 full papers. That will do i guess. Realised today that theres about only a week left till the commencement of the block tests. So far ive only touched physics so looks like ive gota cram everything in this last week. thats gonna be interesting.

"Good things come to those who wait". I believe ive mentioned this phrase in one of my earlier posts and i thought its worth repeating. Good things do come to those who have the patience to wait things out. Though it may seem daunting and impossible at first, and also time-consuming, it doesnt matter because the outcome is sufficient reward to compensate for all the trials and tribulations that one had undergone.

If i had a penny for every time i thought of you, i'd be a very rich man

Always

2008-06-08T23:02:00.003+08:00

Hey to all you peeps once again. Trying to update on a daily basis now. Lets see how long my resolution will last. Neways, spent the better part of the day studying, yes you heard me rite, studying. Did hci and ajc physics papers today. Makes YJC papers seem like a breeze. Still left vjc, njc and tjc papers 2&3 to complete by this friday. Nice 'holidays' its turning out to be. Will be going back to school tmr to do some studying and complete all the maths tutorials that i owe to the lovely ms ng. These include DE too. haha. Hope tomorrow's gonna be productive.

"Time and tide waits for no man" Cliche but true. Most cliches still apply even though they're overly used. Just as the ebb and flow of the tide, time will slowly but surely pass. Sometimes blindingly fast, and at times, painstakingly slow. Impossible as it may seem, one has to stop wallowing in self-pity, and get on with their lives. Even if one is unable to move on, one should never shackle others whom are trying to. Do unto others what you want others to do unto you.

Will always be there
every tear
every smile
no matter what

Sheer Bliss

2008-06-08T00:27:00.003+08:00

Sry guys for not blogging for the past couple of days. Nothing much happened besides the Sepak Takraw victory. The end of the 2nd week is fast drawing close, leaving only 2 weeks for block test revison. Must definitely work hard as this block test is like a mini prelim and i, and all the jC2s out there, cant afford to screw this up. Good luck to all of you guys in preparing for the coming block tests.

There are no words to describe love
When you have it, you trust it
You take a chance on it
Willing to do anything to keep it
No matter what the cost

Let the past be
deal with the change
move on
for god's sake

Helpless

2008-06-04T22:01:00.002+08:00

Today was the semi-finals and the finals of the inter-house soccer tournament. To sum things up, we lost 1-0 at the semi-finals to the eventual champions, Seletar, and then lost 2-0 to Admiralty in the 3rd and 4th placing. Watched on helplessly as Fairoz scored from a freaking drop kick from one end to the other. Neways, we tried our best and maybe luck just wasnt on our side today.

Life is really unpredictable. Its amazing how things can change in an instant. Feel so helpless right now knowing that i cant do anything to make things better. Hope everything will turn out fine. Hope.

Im here for you

Bittersweet

2008-06-02T23:52:00.002+08:00

Well, today was the inter-house soccer tournament. Pierce A did quite well i guess. 2 wins and 2 draws. We managed to qualify for the semi-finals tomorrow! Woohoo! Hope we can make it all the way to the finals. At least take something back from the last year here at YJ since the A division is over and done with. Tomorrow we will lift the name of Pierce to greater heights. Well actually, we will just be playing for glory. Haha. Good luck to all the other semi-finalists as well.
Had dinner with meifong and eunice. The unluckiest of things happened. Eunice lost her wallet today. She was really torn up about it and i felt so helpless as i could do nothing to get the wallet back. We lodged a report at the interchange and all we can do now is hope that a kind soul will return the wallet back to her. The feeling of helplessness of seeing bad things happen to good people and not being able to do anything to remedy the situation is indeed one of the worst feelings that one can experience.Sometimes all you can do is be there for them and help them through the bad times.

Sorry for dredging up the bad memories

Crossroads

2008-06-01T23:16:00.002+08:00

Wow. I really like how happening my tagboard is rite now. haha. Come out booga khan all sia. neways, went to malaysia yesterday. Everytime i visit malaysia, i appreciate how modern and efficient singapore is. No offence to any malaysians, but i really think given the resources that the country has, im sure much more could be done to improve the country. Neways, went to jusco tebrau city which is sort of a mega mall i guess, about 3-4 times as large as tampines mall. haha. Ate at pizza hut and amazingly, the bill totalled about 70 plus ringgit which is about 35 bucks which is damn cheap considering that there were 4 people. Wanted to buy the ronaldinho tempo legend street soccer shoes but due to my brilliant luck, my size wasn't available. To compensate for that loss, i bought 2 shirts. Not exactly a good replacement but who 's complaining since my mom paid for everything. We are free-riders in our own ways.

Im at a crossroads in my life right now. Transitioning between teenagehood and the ever-approaching adulthood, student to soon-to-be national serviceman. Life is full of changes. What seperates the strong from the weak is the ability to deal with change and move on. Resilience is a trait which all of us should encompass in order to bounce back from the blows that life deals us and come back stronger to meet future challenges or changes head on. Everyone hopes that their dreams will come true. Well, i realised that good things come to those who wait.

Willing to wait till the end of time

The end of the wait is not near, its here

2008-05-30T22:44:00.002+08:00

Finally the end of the week has arrived. 3 weeks to go till block tests and i havent even started my revision. Gotta realli buck up this time round and should realli stop slacking. Procrastination is my foe at this point of time, among many others. Funnily enough, i miss soccer trainings. Even though they were time-consuming and at times, torturous, that was one of the main reasons why i look forward to coming to school. And now it's over. Thats the sad part about us humans. We take what we have for granted and only when we have lost, do we appreciate. This vicious cycle can spiral on uncontrollably if we do not change our ways. That is why: Hold close everything you hold dear and do not take anything for granted.

Only in abscence
did i realise
how your prescence
and happiness suffice

2 days left

2008-05-28T22:47:00.002+08:00

I don't know what the hell is going on around here. Don't give a fuck neways. Seems like one can never actually be rid of the past. The phrase "your past will come back to haunt you" is apt indeed. The present will be affected by the past, and the future, affected by the present. It is inevitable. This interwoven reality is sometimes excruciatingly painful and frustrating but at times, great. Hope that the present can overshadow the shortcomings of the past and the future be brightened by the present.

Hanging on your rope got me ten feet off the ground

4 days to go...

2008-05-27T23:25:00.002+08:00

Nothing much happened today. Had a physics test which i ponned econs lecture to study for. Hope i managed to scrape a B. haha. Then, did work at khatib mac with Ow, fai and jeremy till bout 6 30 then we ciao-ed. Supposed to play soccer today but due to miscommunication, ended up not playing. Neways, dl-ed lose yourself by eminem again. Realised that the lyrics were indeed quite meaningful :

If you had, one shot, one opportunity
to seize everything you ever wanted
one moment
to capture,
or to just let it slip

You are the one good constant thing in my life

Only 5 days, i keep telling myself

2008-05-26T22:18:00.002+08:00

Today was ok i guess. Shortest day of the week for the new timetable. Ended at 145pm. Then went to long john's and slacked there with Ow and Fai. Went back to school and slacked sumore in the library. Played abit of bball which i really sucked at. Think i better stick to soccer. And that's pretty much how my day went. Pathetic i know. Haha. This whole week's gonna be miserable i guess. Only 5 days, i keep telling myself.

Withthe passing of every second you're not with me, i realise how important you are in my life

The world holds its breath

2008-05-25T23:15:00.003+08:00

Nothing better to do so decided to blog. So today was pretty much routine. Woke up late, went to mac and then to my grandpa's house in the evening. Standard routine for a sunday. So tomorrow marks the start of the wondrous hols for us JC2s. 4 weeks of blissful relaxation away from books and pressure. Hah, wishful thinking on my part. The harsh reality is that the first 2 weeks is according to normal schedule with abit of alterations. N the best part is, my wonderful maths tutor has kindly smsed me requesting me to stay back every day after school to clear the work that i owe her. Life's juz great ain't it? Thanks for nothing Ms Ng. My tutors claim that the last 2 weeks of the hols will be 'untouched'. Even if that were true, still have to use that time for revision as the blocks will start immediately once sch reopens. Sounds as if this month is gonna be really happening =)

Its amazing how things can change in an instant. One moment you're ten feet off the ground, the next, falling flat on your face. Thats life. One of the hardest things in life is to watch the people that you care about, making the biggest mistakes of their lives. You want so much to prevent it by advising them against it but sometimes, you just have to step back and let them make their own mistakes. Because only with failure, can one learn. Sometimes, its better for people to make the mistakes sooner rather than later, so that they will be able to learn and be better prepared for future knocks. Heroes arise from tremulous times. Remeber that.

Each time i gaze into your eyes, the rest of the world stands still

One step at a time...

2008-05-24T23:57:00.003+08:00

Hey all. Yes, im here once again. So yeap the start of the weekend on this glorious saturday. Spent the whole morning doing one of my favourite things...Sleeping! Woke up at like 12 30. Spent my afternoon more productively doing my work at mac. Unbelievable but true. Wanted to start on the 100 questions for phy but the task seemed pretty daunting so decided to juz give up and walk around with my friends. One of my secondary school friends is actually in a 5-year r/s. Though after 3 years he n his gal were on a short hiatus, they've made it this far. He went through alot of shit with the girl's parents and now they've accepted him too. Its people like them who give me hope for the future, that love actually can overcome all odds. Sometimes its not about making things happen, but letting things unravel by themselves with a little nudge in the right direction.

To all those out there nursing a broken heart:

Don't cry because it ended
Smile because it happened

For every second that we spend together, a piece of my heart you take

Dilemma

2008-05-23T23:40:00.003+08:00

Today was the GP Block test and i don't exactly know how i fared for both papers. Neways, Crispin, Fai and Chuan Yue was called out for long hair and had to go out of the hall to cut their hair. Fau-, I mean MR Fauzi, helped Chuan Yue to cut his hair. Haha. Then, went for friday prayers and did CIP thereafter. Some of the soccer guys and I helped to collect funds for Mercy Relief which is dedicated to delivering aid for the Sichuan Earthquake victims. I finally got to experience how tiring and , occassionally, frustrating collecting donations can be. I took a short 'break' and made it back to school to watch the investiture and then went back to the mrt and resumed collecting donations till 7pm. Then, had dinner with the guys and went home.

Faced with a dilemma
Wanna tell you
Sooner or later
Things will get better

Everything

2008-05-21T22:47:00.002+08:00

For all of those out there who can't put their feelings into words:

Imagine that the pillow that you cried on was my chest,
and the tissue that you wiped your face with was my hand.
Girl, imagine: if you needed advise about some other guy,
I'm the one that comes to mind.
Not tryna hear you tell nobody that I'm just a friend,
just trying to make sure I'm that body that you call your man,
and anytime you need a shoulder -- it's yours, night or day,
but what I'm tryna say is,

I wanna be...
The last number you call late at night
The first one that you dial when you open your eyes.
Wanna be the one you run to,
wanna be the one that ain't gonna hurt you,
I wanna be yeah, I wanna be yeah..
Be the man making your girls jealous,
be the guy shuttin' down all the fellas..
whatever you need, girl, it's all on me:
soldier, your friend or your lover, girl,I wanna be...

Fallen Angel

2008-05-18T23:27:00.003+08:00

First off, would like to apologise to all you peeps for not updating my blog for the past few days. Great to see that its so happening here. Lol. Neways, went for my teacher's wedding yest. She taught me in sec 2 and still could remember me. Haha. Must have really made life hell for her. It was great being able to meet up with my sec sch peeps. Reminded me of the good times that we had. One of her students said "Ms Seow, I love You!" and i replied " Eh, She married already lah boy!" That drew quite a number of stares from the crowd. After that, had dinner then returned home.My friend intro-ed me to the song Fallen Angel by Chris Brown. I was instantly hooked by the lyrics as well as the tune. Recommend all you peeps to download it( or buy the CD for those who have a conscience)

If I could, take a trip, to outer space,
She would be the one, I will see, when I get, to Heavens gate,
She would welcome me, with her arms, open wide
and her smile,would shine on me brighter than the sun,
She hasn't had a fair chance, so I'll give her one

Epic Tragedies

2008-05-14T23:49:00.004+08:00

There is bound to be a point in every indiviual's life where one encounters grief. It is an inevitable part of life. With happiness, comes grief. An unlikely coupling. There are several stages which one will encounter when one is filled with grief. These are the 5 stages of grief:

Denial: "It can't be happening."
Anger: "Why me? It's not fair."
Bargaining: "Just give me one more chance."
Depression: "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"
Acceptance "It's going to be OK."

One has to allow oneself to go through these stages in order to recover from the ordeal and move on with one's life. If one does not do so, one will be trapped in a limbo, and time will pass right by you. As i have mentioned before in one of my earlier posts, one can choose to live in denial OR accept that things have indeed changed and try to move on.

Acceptance is the key to triumphing over grief

Unforseen

2008-05-14T00:01:00.002+08:00

Life is full of surprises as they always say. Though it may sound cliche, it holds true. Things can change in an instant, sneaking up and hitting one from behind. That happened today. An array of emotions consumed me, leaving me disoriented. If i had known, i would not have said anything at all. What seperates the men from the boys is the ability to make decisions and having the responsibility to bear the consequences of the those decisions, no matter how heavy the burden.

Change
Sometimes its painful
Sometimes its beautiful
Most of the times
Its abit of both

Time to move on

2008-05-12T22:39:00.003+08:00

We had our last game today and what a brilliant end to the season for us. We won National Junior College 1-0 with a spectacular goal from haoguang into the top corner. It was a bittersweet moment as this was indeed the last game that I will ever get to play representing YJC. Though i was not instrumental in the team being the striker who didn't even score a goal, i will never forget this memorable chapter in my life. The fun that we had, the suffering we went through during physicals, the after-training meals that we had will forever be etched into my memory. Thanks guys for making my life more bearable coz i don't know what i'd do without you guys looking out for me.Today marks the end of our illustrious journey as YJC Soccer players.

I realised today that i have been living in denial for the past few months. I had an epiphany that it is indeed time to let go and move on with my life. I finally realised that im fighting for a lost cause. I just want to say, i love you.

It is better to have loved and lost, than not to have loved at all

Enslaved

2008-05-10T00:03:00.002+08:00

Hate to say it but, we had our last training today. Was realli dam sad about it. We took group pictures on the field. Snapshots of the people who made life much more bearable for me. Didn't get to say this to all of u soccer guys juz now but without you guys, i don't know what my life would be like.I wish all of you the best of luck in the coming prelims and A levels, Lets show the rest what we soccer guys are capable of.

Bought meifong's birthday gift already. Supposed to celebrate her bday tomorrow at chuan yue's house but turns out my parents don't allow me to go( wow, what a surprise!) coz my dad wants to bring my family out for dinner or something. I really really feel bad coz of me being unable to go to the bday celebration tmr. I really want to go but its just that circumstances are a bitch. All my life ive been a victim of circumstance. Wonder when this vicious cycle of being enslaved by my parents' paranoia will end.

Failed to be there when you needed me to be

Things are slowly changing...

2008-05-07T21:28:00.002+08:00

Hey guys. Sorry for not updating these past few days. Nothing significant really happened thus, the lack of posts. Neways, today was the the first wednesday which we soccer guys did not have training.It feels weird to not have soccer take up my time on wednesdays. Friday will be our last training, and even then its not confirmed. Even now i feel sad knowing that my time as YJC Soccer player is drawing to an end. Im really proud to have played alongside all you soccer guys man. Though we might have only won one game, we stuck together through thick and thin. Friday will be the photo shoot for us soccer guys. A snapshot of a significant event in my life, portaying the people whom i 'grew' up with in these short two years.Our last game against Njc will be the last for us JC2s. Treasure the moment guys as it will stick with you for the rest of your lives. Neways, supposed to go window shopping with jeremy joon kiat n fai juz now at amk hub but we ended up accompanying Ow at Long John Silver's. Really laughed like hell at jeremy's jokes.Damn funny guy lah. Reached home at 830 today which is the earliest ive ever reached home on a wednesday.

Its amazing how things can change in an instant. Like Ow, just one wrong turn and things came crashing down. We are all here for you bro. Life is comparable to what happened to Ow. One wrong turn could leave us inexplicably lost and regret will soon set in. Sometimes, even though one foresee certain events occurring, one can't fathom the pain that one might feel when those things happen. Most of us put on a facade everyday, concealing the pain and sorrow that they're feeling by laughing and plastering a fake smile on their faces, acting as if everything is ok. Its a white lie really. Sometimes, they do so to not interfere in people's lives and stop others from getting worried. If you were presented an opportunity to attain what you desire the most at the expense of others, would you take it? The greatest battle fought is from within and the time will come in one's life to choose between: what is right and what is easy.

Trying very hard not to cross that fine line

Unanticipated tragedies...

2008-05-05T23:46:00.002+08:00

Today took the maths ca. It was hopeless as i couldn't really think straight. Im lucky if i managed to scrape an S with that dysmal performance in the test. Highlight of the day was soccer training in the evening juz now. It was bittersweet as its most probably the 2nd last training that we'll ever have for the rest of the year. The team has become really close and i really feel much closer to some of them like arvin,chuan yue, Ow, Fai, Jeremy, aaron, joon kiat n fairoz( to name a few. If i didnt mention ur name, don't be too disheartened =] ). Really gonna miss the times that we shared during trainings and the after-training meals. Good times, good times. Hope we can end the season on a high note with a win agaisnt tpjc tmr.

As i mentioned in one of my earlier posts, im really trying hard to keep a lid on my temper these days though i can't promise not to lose it if future events piss me off. Well, that day is today. Just don't get how some people can be so fucking stupid as to post offensive opinions on public domains. Im seriously fucking pissed at this point of time. Just fucking keep your fucking thoughts to your fucking self. Neways, this is just part and parcel of life, encountering various types of people in one's life. Along the way, there's bound to be people whom you just feel like bashing up either for hurting or exploiting the people that one love. However, one musn't let one's anger get the better of them as it could have dire repercussions.Im desperately searching for a effective anger-management technique but still to no avail. Blogging helps but it's merely temporary solace from the anger and pain that soon consumes thereafter.

Anger and pain consumes
while i lie helplessly
silently praying for an angel
to take my breath away

The jerks get the girls, while the good guys just can't seem to catch a break

Open your eyes and change

2008-05-04T23:37:00.002+08:00

Today's the last day of the weekend again. Damn, weekends simply just fly by. When you wish for time to fly by, it will crawl and vice versa. Lol that was random. So main event of today was...SLEEP! Woke up at 11am to eat breakfast and use the com for awhile then felt really letargic so i decided to go take a short nap at 1pm. When i woke up, it was already 4! Haha. Thats the life man =) Unfortunately, had to start studying for the maths test tmr. Managed to complete complex and binomial distribution. For sampling and probability, im juz gona crap through. Tmr will be a test of my luck i guess. Haha.

Sometimes i ask myself, if i were to die right now, what impact have i made on other people's lives in my lifetime? Sometimes one makes a difference in people's lives without even knowing it. As for me, the only good things i've done for others is to lend them a listening ear, give them advice on their problems and to make them laugh. Its funny that people come to me with their gal/ guy problems when i've never even been in a relationship before. Guess all that rejection taught me some things. Haha. For me, i think one of the hardest things to endure is watching the people that I love suffer without being able to do a single damn thing about it. That feeling of helplessness is indeed one which i would never wish on anyone. I just hope that my prescence helps soothes the pain of the people that i love and that in the end when im on my deathbed, i know that ive made good use of my short time on this lonely planet called Earth. Life's short, too short to live it as a bad person.

Shed no more tears please. Im here for you no matter what happens

Rage Blackouts

2008-05-03T22:53:00.003+08:00

Heyo. Sorry bout not posting yesterday guys. Seriously had nothing to talk about so it would be kind of stupid to blog about mundane stuff. Neways, had training today as usual. Surprisingly, it was quite fun and 20 people turned up which is quite a good improvement from the past turnouts for sat trainings which was pretty pathetic. After training, had to serve detention for the first time since i came to yjc coz i came late twice so far this year. When i told my mom that i had detention, she blowed it up into such a freaking big issue as if i like played truant or something. Was seriously pissed off at that time. Neways, detention was supposed to be 3 hours but me and aznor only spent like an hr actually in the classroom. The rest of the time, we were slacking with fai n Ow at the grandstand n talking cock as usual. After detention, slacked with Ow n fai at the grandstand while waiting for candice to come accompany Ow. Albert n co. went out today to have a belated celebration of mel's bday. I couldn't join in coz of parents( as usual) n detention. Neways, reali hope that they had fun today.

Lately, i've been losing my temper more often that i've done in past years. My close friends in the soccer team would know the reason for this. Reali gotta learn to keep a lid on my temper from now on and not get easily agitated. However, I cant make any promises if future events piss me off.When one feels sad or angry occasionally, it's deemed that one is like 'emo' or something. The sad truth is when one constantly feels sad, it becomes the norm and its deemed as being 'ok'. Life. Sometimes its painful, sometimes its beautiful. Most of the times, its abit of both. Im sure many of us desperately search for the silver lining to most bad/painful things that have happened to us to try and be optimistic. Sometimes its there, most of the time it isn't. Most people are hoping to find gold at the end of the rainbow, however most of the time, its juz disappointment yet again. I know im sounding really pessimistic but unfortunately, its the the painful truth. Its up to all of you whether to live in blissful ignorance or to accept the harsh facts of reality.

Having a dream doesn't make you smart. Knowing it won't come true, that does

Contemplation

2008-05-01T23:50:00.002+08:00

Happy Labour day to all you labourers out there! I think this holiday is especially sweet for all the JC2s as this holiday is a much-needed break from the hectic pace of life that we are all suffering from.Sometimes i really think that Singapore's lifestyle is really really competitive. Its like one has to work hard to keep up with the rest and work even harder still to pull ahead.When will this rat race end? Seeing how competitive the global arena is becoming, im guessing never. Wow, what a bunch of crap that was. Haha. Neways, studied with jeremy n fai juz now in tampines!Haha. Managed to persuade jeremy to come down all the way from yishun. We ended up talking cock more than we actually studied which didn't come as a surprise. We then had dinner at afghanistan ( Yes, its a real hawker centre n no, we didn't see Osama) After that, we all went our seperate ways back home. Jeremy reached home at 11 30. Feel my pain man!

Someone asked me recently whether i would be with a gal just to satisfy the lack of love in my life. Well, the answer is no. Even though its hard sometimes, i would never play with a gal's feelings like that. Love is about being there for each other through the good times and even more importantly, through the bad. Love is that joy that you feel when you are around the person and continually longing for his/her prescence. Love is complicated, no doubt, but its the one thing worth fighting for in life.

Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away

Exhausted

2008-05-01T00:22:00.002+08:00

Im reali tired. Got home at rnd 11 juz now. Training was tiring as usual. Me joon kiat chuan yue fairoz fai arvin n jeremy went to eat as usual after training but long john's n bk was fucking packed! Damn, it was filled with all the yjcians from the various ccas. We were about to give up n go home when arvin suggested this small nasi padang shop near the interchange.Since we were desperate, we went there to eat. It was quite affordable but the food was about the same quality as the canteen. Haha. Then, me jeremy n joon kiat emo- momo(a word created by jeremy, fucking joker, haha) at the interchange. Then, went home. What an interesting day rite?

Hope you know what you're doing.

Im back!

2008-04-30T00:12:00.004+08:00

OMG! IM back! hahahaha. Its been like more than a year since i last posted on this plain blog of mine. I juz started this blog as something to do in the spare time that i had during the first 3 months holiday. Neways, main reason for not updating for god-knows-how long is that i didn't reali have time to blog. But now, im gona make time for it again... i hope. Neways, alot has happened since my last post(which was freaking long ago. Sorry bout that guys)

Firstly, i was an ogl for the JC1 orientation 2008. I was 'blackmailed' into joining the indoor games committee which involves the planning of the indoor games(duh). Neways, it was pretty time consuming as i also had soccer training during the hols which was 4 days a week.However, when it came to the actual start of the JC1 orientation, all the ogls totally forgot bout all the bitchin n complainin that we had done during the prep as it was reali worthwile! The orientation was a huge success for us, especially the jam n hop nite, which is basically a time for all the JC1s n OGLs to boogie!Good times man, good times. Im reali reali glad that i managed to be an OGL as i got the chance to make reali good frens whom i would never have gotten the chance to know if not for the orientation. Fate really dealt me a good hand. That was the highlight of the december hols.

Okok. i know u guys muz be complainin bout these long flashbacks so lets fast-forward to more recent events shall we? Well, i went for the arts fusion dance concert last saturday with my best buds jeremy, fairoz and Ow, who came even though he was on crutches.( talk about commitment! no wonder candice is crazy bout him. Haha) We went for the concert even though we had already watched the full dress rehearsal. The dance teacher-in-charge was like questioning us whether we'd bought the tickets and even fai said yes, though he didn't even buy the ticket. hahaha. The dance performances put on a much better show than how they performed during the full dress rehearsal that we watched. The dikir barat brought the house down with the soulful voice of the male lead n the passion with which they performed. My friends, iry n meifong, performed in the concert too! It was nice to see them doing that they loved to do best in front of a full house. Unfortunately, meifong twisted her ankle during her first item. It was pretty bad n she was nearly in tears, poor gal =( However, she mustered up her courage to perform for the 2nd item though her anke was probably hurting like hell. We all were like " dam thats gota hurt!" everytime she did a spin or a slide. We reali respect u for that gal =)
After the whole concert was over, me fairoz ben daniel iry n meifong 'limped' together to northpoint to have dinner. It was already pretty late by the time we were done. Ben n daniel offered to send Meifong home. Aww...how nice of them =) hahaha.

Well guys, thats mainly the things that have happened, though there were definitely more that happened in the course of my year of mia-ing. Can't post everything that happened can i? Will definitely try to post more often after this post. See you soon peeps! =)

Blog Revived...

2007-04-06T01:30:00.000+08:00

Hey all. Really sorry i havent been blogging for like a month. Couldn do so coz of my stupid modem was on the fritz for a month till my dad finally got a new one so im back online again.
A lot has happened since my last post.

Firstly, for those who havent know yet, i got posted to yishun junior college. Yes, u heard me rite, yishun junior college. I didn event put it as any of my choices but i still got posted there. Juz my luck man. But, having spent 3 weeks at yjc, it isnt all that bad ah. Sure the journey takes one hour and all, but ive made alot of frens alr so at least i feel quite comfortable now. Still trying to adapt to jc life. All the stupid tutorials that i gota finish man, reali sucks. The work load aso doesnt let up, one after another. For this 'Good' Friday weekend, i have 2 econs essay, 2 maths tutorials, 1 chem tutorial, 1 malay essay, 1 physics tutorial, article summary for gp and last of all, i gota hand in my first draft of my pi for pw. I think i can only complete 1/10 of that man. Also, already had 2 tests, physics and maths. Haiz, the work juz keeps on coming. I also have soccer trainings on monday, wednesday, friday and sometimes saturday. On these days, i come back rnd 9 30 and i gota complete my assignments also. Crappy jc life man.

Neways, cant meet up with all u 4e7 peeps anymore. Cant even go to the tampines mosque for prayers coz i hv classes after fri prayers too, so i go to the yishun mosque. Cant meet all of u spirex-ians anymore. Life certainly has changed for me since i got posted to yishun jc. Pretty tired now so im gona log off. Cya next time peeps.

Bored...

2007-03-05T00:33:00.000+08:00

Hey again. Sorry didn post yesterday but i reali reali didn have anything to talk bout.Today's pretty much the same but since im dam bored i think i will just blog some random entry.

The main highlight of my day was the weekly affair of going to my grandfather's house for my weekly family reunion. It was the usual lively, noisy and enjoyable event. Chatted with my uncles n aunts, cracked jokes and the best part...EAT! Sunday is the Food Day for me coz all my uncles and aunts will bring over a large variety of food such as mee goreng, roti john, kway teow n many many more! Man, i was so stuffed that i couldnt eat another bite.

Only 2 more days to the posting results. Its really nerve-wracking to wait while the MOE decides ur future. Wished i had done better for my O lvls but i guess its too late to regret now i suppose. I had an L1R5 of 16 and minusing 1 point leaves me with 15. Thats a really precarious position coz i can barely make it to tpjc.Really hope i get into tpjc coz thats my last hope.

Neways, hermi comes back tomorrow so i can finally test out the headset that i bought. Can't wait for the class BBQ at JJ's house on the 16th of march. Thats the only thing thats worth looking forward to in this remaining days of my hols.

I've ran ouf things to talk about so i guess i'll stop here. Ciao peeps =)

Bliss

2007-03-03T02:58:00.000+08:00

Hey all. Today was a very happy day for numerous people. Firstly, my cuz did well for his A lvls! Not that i doubted him for a second but it was reassuring to noe that his position as smart ass of the faimly is still his.Haha. He got an A for Maths which he hasn't been doing well in before the exam, n he gt B for economics, theatre studies n drama n General paper.All in all a job well done.He's eligible for the course that he wants to enrol in SMU. Im sure he will do well there too condering his past academic achievments. Congrats cuz!

Secondly, my fren who ive mentioned in my earlier post, hus been having this relationship probs, resolve them alr! Reali reali happy for them coz ive nver known 2 people who were meant to be together like them. Hope its smooth sailing all the way from here ^^. They give me hope for the future. Lol.

Thirdly, i managed to get the earpiece thing after hunting all over century square and tampines mall for it. It would have been so much easier if the challenger wasn't a pile of debris. Unfortunately, cant test it out till monday coz thats when hermi will be back.Neways, went out with zul,faiz and hafiz juz nw. They accompanied me to go buy that thing. Reali appreciate it guys. Had lunch at food culture n tts pretty much it. Cant wait for 300 to come out coz it looks reali cool.

Ok nothing much to say anymore so i'll juz stop here. Ciao peeps =)

Bored to death...

2007-03-02T01:40:00.000+08:00

Reali reali boring day man. Juz lazed around at home for the whole day.Damn sian. Neways, so many people complain bout my wordy posts n the lack of paragraphs. Reali sry bout the length but i just like to talk alot but on the paragraphs issue, i'll resolve that by incorporating paragraphs into my blog, starting from now.

There. Satisfied? Haha. The only thing im looking forward to for the rest of the holidays is the class outing which is most probably gona be a bbq at jia jun's house. Can get the chance to see all you 4e7 peeps again! Miss you all alot. Hope all of you guys will try to come coz the more the merrier rite? Money should not be a factor in your consideration coz its juz a small price to pay for a night with your classmates so just fork out the dam money and have a blast!

Its been raining since yesterday. The change of temperature is way better than the stifling heat that i had to endure for the past few weeks. Finally, some reprieve from the heat. Tomorrow is the A lvls results. My cuz is collecting his results tomorrow. His the guy hus been flooding the tagboard with the Nigha comments. Hes the smart ass of the family thats what he is. Neways, he had to take his theatre studies n drama exam with his broken ankle. So i reali hope that his perseverance will pay off so that he can remain the smart ASS of the family.

Tomorrow gona go n get this earphone thing for my com so that i will be able to converse with hermi when we are dota-ing. It will be fun to scold FUCK into his ear. Haha. Well, try to shorten my post so i'll stop here for now. Paragraphs rox! Ciao peeps =)

Precious freedom's gona end soon...

2007-03-01T02:05:00.000+08:00

Hey again. Nth to do so decided to blog. Its the first of march. Time reali flies man. It seemed like juz yesterday when we were all studying hard for our 'o' lvls, then rejoicing at the 3-month long break after the Os. Haiz, reali miss all u 4e7 peeps man. We reali had so much fun, clowning rnd, driving teachers to exasperation, the class unity was reali amazing. One thing is certain, 4e7 Fightans will always hv a special place in my heart n im sure i will nv forget u guys. Hope tt when we start working n all n if we pass each other on the street, we will stop n talk to each other, nt merely juz saying hi.Well, the nxt big event tts coming up is the release of the sch posting on the 6th of March. Tts only 5 days away! Omg, that posting will determine where im gona end up for the nxt two years of my life. Haiz, Singapore emphasisis alot on gd education coz of the fact that we are a knowledge based economy n all that but sumtimes its reali stressful to think that your future is gona be affected by results,results n more results.Guess we have no choice but to study like hell in order to secure a good job in the future. Lately, this friend of mine has been having relationship probs. I felt so helpless coz of the fact i totally dont have any experience in this area n that all i could do was lend a listening ear. Reali hope that in the future if i ever manage to be in a relationship, i will treat my gf rite n always be there for her. But i think thats still a long way to come though. Juz wana say to my fren ; hang in there n hope things pan out well for u. Well, today reali sucked coz i juz stayed at hme, msning n dota-ing the day away. Only rnd 2 weeks left to the end of my freedom. All u guys enjoy ur freedom while it lasts kays? =) Ciao.

Reminisce...

2007-02-28T02:34:00.000+08:00

Today was alot of fun for me. I woke up at 9 30 which was a miracle considering i slept at 4. Haha. Well, neways, today me jj hafiz hermi n farhan went out. We went to eastpoint to pig out n to play ARCADE! Haha. We had such a blast, playing the air hockey thingy n jj gt injured when the flying pug hit his palm, courtesy of urs truly. Lol. Then, we played daytona like 4 times i think coz it was like so cool, 5 ppl playing together.Then. we went to eat at eatzi which is this steak place at eastpoint. Fortunately, there were student meals! Haha. We lied n said tt we were sec 4 n juz flashed our student pass. The stupid thing was that the student meal thing starts at 1 30 n when we wanted to eat it was 1 00pm. So there we were, lounging outside the restaurant like idiots waiting for the student meal to start. Jeez, where do they come with this stuff? 1 30 then student meal...nonsense. Neways, we all ate chicken cutlet with fries foloed by garlic bread, coke n double scoop of ice cream n all for juz $6.50. It was worth it i tell u. We initially wanted to eat at banquet but looking at the prices there, it was rnd the same so we ate at eatzi. Then, after our lunch, we went back to the arcade but this time to play pool! It was dam fun. We played for an hr then went back to tampines to meet up with rau, mz n kai lin. It was gd to see those guys again, juz like the old times back in sec sch. We met up with them to discuss plans for the class outing. However, we kept diverting away from tt n talked bout what courses each of us applied for, which jc we applied for. Finally, we decided on having a bbq at jj's terrace! Haha. He proposed the idea to us n we tot bout it n agreed on the date n time n all tt stuff. After tt was done with, me n hermi did sumthing that ive been dreading the whole day...CUTTING MY HAIR!!! After 4 months of kping my hair, i was coerced into it by my dad hu said if i dun cut my hair, sumbody's gona get hurt real bad...or sumthing to tt effect. Haha. The aunty tt was cutting my hair said, "Wah. ur hair very thick!". I get tt alot. My hair doesnt grow long but instead grows thickly which is total crap coz i look like a dam hooligan or sumthing. I took pics of my hair before n after. I think i muz hv lost like 5kg of hair juz nw. Well, the haircut turned out okay, rather short for my taste but the way i figured, theres bout 2 more weeks til lthe start of sch so my hair will be alrite by then. Haha. Then, after tt i went back chged into shorts then went to play bball with jj ty hermi hafiz hanyong. It was a total blast! Then, pigged out again at mcdonalds. Hermi was a total eating machine today. He muz hv eaten bout 4 meals in the space of a few hrs. N he still remains slim, some ppl r juz lucky i guess. It was great spending time with those guys coz i cldn help but reminisce on the FIGHTANS days. Those two years were the best of my schooling life.We were a family n a dam close one. Our principal even gave us the name 'The Brotherhood' Haiz, also cldn help but think whether jc life can be the same as those two yrs. Can i make as gd frens as the ones i hv now? Well, only god knows. Juz hv to hv faith n believe in the future. As jj said juz nw : ' Life is measured not by the amount of breaths u take, but by the moments that take ur breath away' Hu knew jj cld be so wise? Haha. Well, im sure i blogged enuf today, so CIAO PEEPS!

Can hardly keep my eyes open...

2007-02-27T03:21:00.000+08:00

Hey all. Juz finished dota-ing n had the urge to blog so here i am. Its 3am rite now n im reali reali exhausted. Im doing all i can to fite the urge to succumb to the overpowering wave of drowsiness thats eneveloping me. I noe i noe, too melodramatic but juz trying to make this post interesting.Haha.Nth much to my day. Basically. i woke up, dota-ed till afternn then went to paly bball with hafiz. I havent exercised in like forever so it did my lazy ass gd to work out. However, im reali tired coz of tt. Tts the price to pay in hoping to lose weight. Nth can be gained without any drawbacks.Haiz.Only left a week plus to the end of the 3-month long hols for all the peeps tts nt in the 3-month jc thing. Well. managed to work out how to put the links but had trouble in th ehtml part for the cbox. The cbox was added with the help of lyn. Thx gal^^. Ur a lifesaver. Well, i think im gona give up on my struggle to open my eyes so i think this is where im gona stop. I noe tt this post is way shorter tha nmy first one but hey, no one's perfect. Ciao peeps! =)

My very first entry

2007-02-26T02:13:00.000+08:00

hi guys! My very first post so do excuse the shortness of it. Man, choosing the stupid blog name is hard. I very nearly gave up but got hit with the idea of darkness-incarnate. Don't ask me why but well thats the name of my blog. Its hard to believe that my 3-month long holiday is coming to an end very very soon. Don't know how the heck am i gona adjust to waking up early again. Well, juz gota try i guess. My blog is still in progress so it still sux alot juz post this first entry to get the ball rolling. Nth much to my life rite nw. This is my typical day: wake up reali late, hv brunch then dota awhile till my bro comes home, slack the whols afternoon off, hv dinner then dota the night away. Isnt that juz great? Went to watch ghost rider on friday with hafiz n jiajun n a fren that i made thru dota. Hes cooler than i imagined haha. Many of u think tt dota's juz a game well its not. Thru bnet, i made alot of gd frens like xy lyn gary many many more! Esp lyn hus my late night chat buddy haha. Im her armrest ^^. Its 2 am in the morning nw. How time flies when ur on msn n dota-ing the night away.Funny thing is i dont feel the slightest tug of fatigue. Guess im used to staying up late. Haiz. Reali gona miss all the free time i have coz when sch starts i gota get my act together n focus on my studies. Currently waiting for the school posting results whenever tt mite be. Still vague on the details. Went to my grandpa's hse juz nw. Its a weekly affair for my family. Its like a reunion day. All my aunts n uncles swap stories n catch up on the lastest gossips. Its reali great to be part of a big family coz theres no shortage of fun. Ive gt 9 cousins on my mother's side n im closer to my maternal side than my paternal side.
Used to go down n play street soccer at the street soccer downstairs but thhe stupid town council go n demolish it due to some ah pek complaining. I spent my whole childhood there n its gone juz like tt. Hope the ah pek gets retribution for his act! He shall pay! Neways, my cuz broke his archilles heel bout three months ago. It juz snapped. After 2 months of recovery, its snapped again n he had to undergo an operation on the day of my 'o' lvls results. I brought the result slip to him when he was brought out of the op room. Even in his disoriented state due to 12 doses od painkillers, he still managed to pick out schs for me. Haha. Well, neways, tts whats happening in my life nw juz to update. Im gng off nw. Hope i kp on updating this blog in progress. Ciao!